It Was Never a Failure

I've been thinking a lot this week about the concept of failing.

And the more I sit with it, the more I believe that failure, as we think of it, is an illusion. If something doesn't work out the way you hoped, that doesn't mean you failed.

It's feedback.
It's information.

It's the Universe showing you where something needs refinement, patience, or a different approach.

 

Most people don't actually fail - they just quit too soon. They throw in the towel because it's uncomfortable, because it's taking longer than expected, or because familiarity feels safer than growth. And familiarity, even when it's unfulfilling, is pretty damn seductive. Trust me, I've been there.

 

There have been many moments in my life when I thought I had failed.

 

When I wrote my first book, Unfuckwithable: A Guide to Inspired Badassery I pitched it to every major agent I could find. The rejection emails came in so fast and steady, that I had to create a folder just to keep track of them. I still have that folder. There are about 80 in there. Good times. 🙈

 

What would have happened if I had decided, “Well, I guess I'm not cut out for this writing thing,” and quit?

 

Things take time.
That's why trusting timing - not forcing it - is everything.

 

When you believe in something, you keep going. You keep doing the thing, even when no one is clapping yet. You keep preparing. You keep building momentum. You hold the vision with such delusional faith that your nervous system becomes ready for the moment it finally arrives.

 

Because here's the truth:

The Universe brings you what you're ready for - not just what you want. Another huge lesson I've learned along the way.

 

Timing is never wrong. It simply nudges us when a course correction is needed. The work is learning how to flow and grow instead of resisting what's unfolding.

Resistance is what exhausts us.

 

I started watching Pluribus on Apple TV a few weeks ago (brilliant show, by the way), and one of the biggest lessons I keep seeing mirrored back is this: we make life exponentially harder when we fight what's trying to move through us.

 

For me, I want to be at ease with what's aligning , and I've learned that ease only comes when I stop forcing outcomes I'm not fully ready to hold yet.

 

Had I quit back in 2019, after two straight years of rejection, I wouldn't have been able to help the thousands of people I've reached so far. I wouldn't have gone on to write The Girl Who Cried Love, which became an international bestseller this past October.

 

And that brings me to this:

There is no such thing as failing. There is only recalibrating.

 

Sometimes what doesn't work isn't a dead end. It's information. It's the Universe showing you where an adjustment is needed so you can move forward with more clarity, strength, and alignment.

 

Friends, I promise you - you are exactly where you're supposed to be. Nothing has been wasted. Keep growing. Keep moving. Keep showing up with the same energy and curiosity that lit you up in the beginning. We have no idea what's coming up ahead.

 

 

As we move into a new year, I want to leave you with something simple and grounding:

Choose one goal for the next quarter. Just one.
Then focus your energy, attention, and intention there.

 

Not ten goals.
Not a complete life overhaul.
Just one aligned step forward.

 

 

I hope you all have the most amazing Friday ever!