Sometimes They Lie

I need to share a story with you that came up for me this week that I completely forgot about, yet somewhere deep down, I have carried the words that had been said with me, for a very long time. I’d like to preface this, since this story is about something my father had said to me about 20 years ago. I know when he said this, he didn’t think I was making the best choices in my life. However, as I’ve been working on my new book and diving into my past, this hit me hard. I love my family and love my father. And I’ve forgiven him. I’m sharing this with you because perhaps you’ve also heard some nasty things in your past, in the name of “caring,” that is total bullshit, that you’ve subconsciously been carrying with you as well.

I had always been the “black sheep” of my family. My extreme Christian upbringing did not resonate with me in any way. I always did my own thing and lived life on my terms. After I had my child back in 2004, I found myself single and staying at my parents for a bit. There was a lot of talk about me “finding someone.” Getting married was the goal. There was this weird pressure that I needed to do that in order to be fulfilled. I remember my dad saying to me that it was going to be tough for me to find someone who would accept a woman, covered in tattoos with a kid.

I most likely took offense and told him to f*ck off. But those words, in the back of my mind, I realize, have been sticking with me since, in that I have not only tried to be good enough, but maybe something in me never really believed I could BE accepted for who I was and who I am today. And while I am not blaming him at all here for my own past decisions… I know this statement has caused me to jump into things that weren’t for me. All in the “hope” that someone would love me for me. And that is SUCH BULLSHIT!

I’m sharing this because I know it’s not true. I know that one day, whomever I choose, will love and accept me exactly how I am. They won’t want to try to change me. They won’t want to dim my light. They will encourage me to shine brighter. And until that day comes, I will deeply love and accept myself and continually evolve into the best version of ME. I don’t need anyone else to do that.

If you, my friends, have had anyone say anything to you that in any way brings you down, or have had things people say stick with you in the back of your mind, or caused any type of shame, please let that shit go. They lied. Because sometimes they lie. YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

People will project their feelings onto you and sometimes not even realize what they're doing. Always remember that just because someone “feels” something, doesn’t make it truth. That's their own shit. Nor does anyone have any right to make you feel shame. We are exactly where we are supposed to be. Those things you maybe kinda regret? Don’t. Those things make us who we are.

I hope you have the most beautiful weekend just being YOU. YOU are the gift. Never forget that.